you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
