I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
