so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
