What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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