Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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