Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
