guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In other news, I just burned my penis
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
