I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize