It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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