He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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