p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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