I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
