Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
