at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
