I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
