addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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