I wish I could punch you in the face.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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