so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
