it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
