dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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