I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
