We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
