Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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