Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
