the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
