walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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