Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
