I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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