in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
