There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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