chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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