You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
