I have demons in me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
