thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
