it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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