Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
