Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
