I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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