Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
