Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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