11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Where is the hickey?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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