____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
