first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
