oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
