i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
