Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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