my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
