So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm at about main and main street
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
