I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
