wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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