Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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