im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
