you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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