so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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