Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
