So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
