maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
