i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize