You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh god it's open bar.
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