I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
