feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
third nipple confirmed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
