careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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