You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
