just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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