They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
