If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
