How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
