we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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