Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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