Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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