i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
