Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
