carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
