i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
