Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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