i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
they're like a gay fantastic four
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize